The 10 Greatest Achievements in Female Body Painting

1. Rebecca Romijn as Mystique
X-Men Franchise

Female Body Painting - mystique rebecca stamos

Hats off to the genius who decided that the best way to portray the mutant Mystique using nothing but body paint, and much jealousy to the lucky bastard whose job it was to paint her even though he is probably gay. The dumbest of many dumb decisions in X-Men 3 was having her changed into a normal human. She was the only thing that made that abomination watchable.

2. Demi Moore Vanity Fair Cover
Vanity Fair, cover 1992

Female Body Painting - Demi Moore

I remember this very fondly. The year was 1992. I was a sophomore in high school and just going through puberty. I’m just kidding. I was a Junior in high school. There’s nothing like getting aroused while standing in the checkout line at the grocery store with your mother. Then I saw this cover and all was lost, including my innocence.

3. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models

I’ve never been able to figure out what swimsuit modeling really has to do with sports, and I really don’t care.

Female Body Painting - Daniella Sarahyba

Female Body Painting - Jessica White

Female Body Painting - Marisa Miller

Female Body Painting - Heidi

4. World Cup Babes

This is pretty much the only way other than fights and broken bones to make soccer interesting to me.

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting - world cup girls

Female Body Painting

5. Metallic Girls

Women love precious metals, and guys love women, therefore painting women completely gold and silver should make everyone involved happy. Works for me, anyway. It even makes Paris Hilton look better, and that’s saying a lot.

Female Body Painting - paris gold canned wine

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting - jill masterson2-goldfinger

Here’s a Julie Newmar goldie dance…(You may remember Jules better as Catwoman)

Female Body Painting - Julie Newmar catwoman

6. Vida Guerra as Tiger Woman

This kitten’s got claws as well as the best derriere in the business.

Female Body Painting - Vida Guerra tigerpaint

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting

7. Super Heroines

Superhero costumes look like they’re painted on anyway, so why the hell not?

Female Body Painting

Wonder Woman

Female Body Painting - danger girl

Danger Girl

Female Body Painting

Elektra (Could be, anyway?)

Female Body Painting - bodypaint supergirl

Supergirl. Can you think of a better use for Photoshop? What? It’s digital paint…

Female Body Painting - Captain America

Captainess America?

Female Body Painting - handygirl

Carpenter Girl. A woman who can do handy work definitely has super powers…

Ok, so some of the superheros are a bit of a stretch. So sue me. I could have easily gone with something like this….



8. Corporate Advertising

Branding inspires loyalty to a product. I feel that more companies should embrace this form of advertising to capture the coveted 18-34 year old male demographic.

Female Body Painting - cocaccolazero

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting - heiniken

Female Body Painting - mickey

9. The 12 Signs of the Zodiac

Making pseudo-science fun! I’m a libra. No wonder I’m a boob-man

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting

10. Playboy

No other organization has done more to advance the art of female bodypainting. Or the great art of ogling hot chicks in any shape or fashion for that matter.

Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting


Female Body Painting

Female Body Painting

The 10 Greatest Achievements in Female Body Painting

1 comment:

  1. thanks for alert on the previous comment

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